“Barton, what the hell is this?”
“It’s what you requested, sir.”
“I did not request a video file sent to my phone.”
Clint grinned down at the cutting board. “Well, no, but this is just me being proactive. I was told to work on being proactive on my last quarterly review, why is Hill giving me quarterly reviews now, by the way?”
“It has something to do with a conflict of interest,” Phil said. He sounded like he was chewing nails. “In that Director Fury seems to think that me having to give you your reviews might interfere with our working relationship.”
“But doesn’t that define our working relationship?” Clint spun the knife on the flat of his hand, catching it neatly and stabbing downward with an efficient use of force. The potato never saw it coming. “You’re my boss. You boss me. Then you tell me how I fucked that up.”
“Then we go home and sleep together,” Phil pointed out.
“It’s the natural order of things,” Clint agreed, dicing the potato with a few flicks of his wrist. He considered double dicing, but that was probably a bit much, what with the phone call and all.
“As it turns out, SHIELD is not sure I’ll give you an honest quarterly review, because of the sleeping together part.”